There are many reasons for the popularity of fast food. Unconscious mashups, incorrect holiday respects, and irreconcilable deviations from the restaurant’s main products are just a few ways fast food chains around the world embarrass themselves and make customers sick Bon Appetite.
One of the ever-decreasing reasons I’m proud to be an American is that this culinary clusterf*ck was an Aussie thing.
On the heels of Taco Bell’s well-received Doritos Locos Taco – a taco whose tortilla shell is made from snack food’s signature cheesy corn chip – Pizza Hut Australia decided “why not us?” Despite several satisfying answers to that seemingly rhetorical question coming immediately to mind (for starters, “Because mozzarella and nacho cheeses don’t go together, EVER”), in 2014 the Doritos Crunchy Crust Pizza debuted in restaurants across the country.
An Italian-Mexican mashup proudly insulting both of these eclectic cuisines, the Doritos Crunchy Crust Pizza features a mozzarella cheese-stuffed crust layered with nacho cheese Doritos chips and cheddar cheese. The Doritos layer is far more than a few crumbs, but rather full chips atop one another for the experience of stuffing one’s face with both multiple Doritos AND the bread and cheese upon which they’re stacked.
“Why Doritos? Well it is a globally loved brand and they have the best corn chips to deliver the ultimate crunch,” Pizza Hut Australia Head of Marketing & Innovation (and possible forced-confession hostage) Fatima Syed said in a press release. “We know from research how big an impact the crunch sound has on one’s appetite,” she continued, in a sentence somehow more ridiculous than her first one.